yeah yeah yeah

So Let's Make the Most of this Beautiful Day

The holiday break is over and it is back to the real world for me. A full five days of work is such a shock to the system. Ugh, to be tossed back into the daily routine of life — Alarm buzz. Hit Snooze. Alarm buzz. Feed a baby. Get ready. Pack a lunch. Kiss the baby. Kiss the baby's daddy. Drive. Work. Treadmill. Lunch. Work. Drive. Open the door to home — and then my day begins! I feel like I'm living in Mr. Rogers' neighborhood. It is like I go through this whole day doing real life stuff but the real life doesn't even begin until I open that door, take off my coat, change my shoes and see the Sun. 

Oh the many many faces of Sunny. She cracks me up. She goes from serious, to sad, to happy, to silly in a matter of seconds. And I don't know who this kid is today. She just looks like a totally different kid from even a week ago. Not really looking like her momma or her daddy these days. Just silly silly Sunshine girl. 

 

And where exactly did Mr. Rogers work? He came home each day obviously from a job, right? Likely he didn't commute in the DC traffic.

The Evil Doers aka Headhunters

According to one headhunter working with Lance (I don't really know what else to call her, she actively looks for Lance jobs, so I will call her a headhunter) he was starting the dream job today. It was a contract position that was making a really great salary, full benefits, he would get to do both print and web design AND working from home. The dream job. As of December 10th it was a done deal. She promised he would start on December 15th or January 4th or January 15th at the latest. Oh how funny she is. Guess who he hasn't heard from in weeks? You guessed it, the headhunter. Last he heard from her was before Christmas when she called to say that the job is likely being pushed back to January 4th or later (you think?) since the person hiring no longer works there (or some excuse she had). Really? Really headhunter, dream-killer, evil doer? Who gives you the right to jack around with the lives of the unemployed? I mean seriously. Not fair.

We are actually getting used to the false hope of the headhunter but this last time she just sounded so positive. I mean she called after 8 pm with the news because she herself was so excited about landing this job for Lance. I just don't understand what is the point of all this stringing along? Yeah, I do get it from a business stand point—they obviously don't want to lose their talent so fill the good ones with false job prospects in an effort to keep them on stand-by—but it isn't nice. And rather selfish I might add too. But like I said, we are getting used it. The first several times of similar news we started planning our victory dinner out. We started mapping out the plan for aggressive bill payoffs. We have filled out more then one daycare form and lost deposits on daycare options. Just dealing with the need or lack of need for daycare is driving me insane. I'm just ready to settle into what will be our daily routine. One of two scenarios is how I see it.  Either Plan A or Plan B.

Plan A = Lance gets a job full time on site or at home. Sunny goes to daycare. Bills get paid off. We get to hire a cleaning service once a week. Big vacations are a reality. Life is good.

Plan B = No full time job for Lance. Sunny is home with her daddy and no daycare expenses (a savings of $1,200.00 a month). Lance works to grow his at-home business. Money is tight. We are very mortgage poor but Sunny stays home from daycare. Life is good.

Either way, we can make it work but I'm so tired of the going back and forth. Back and forth. I'm starting to feel like my life is the ball in a ping-pong game for giants. Mean, giant, headhunter evil doers. But here we are living in an unstable job market having to use all possible leads and the headhunter is the one in control of the game. 

On a side note: if you are ever looking for a great print and/or web designer I know a guy.

Something You Can Depend On - Resolution Number Two

I love that I can depend on my father—always. I love that he is a planner too. I think people who plan are people you can depend on and I can always depend on my father. What he says is what he will do and he always makes his plans at the consideration of those around him. His dependability and obsession with arriving on time is something I've grown to appreciate over the years. Or course when I was younger I was totally annoyed when arriving twenty minutes early everywhere but take that same concept and apply it to commuting in a big city and you get places on time. You see, my Dad is the kind of person that you want to pick you up at the airport. You can depend on him to be early and to keep in touch with you during  your trip so that he is aware of your flight arrival in case things change. And you never ever wait on him to get you. He is always there, either parked outside or waiting at baggage. Knowing that he is my ride eliminates stress with travel. And that is the deal, a dependable person brings less stress to those around them. 

I don't really know if people around me would say I'm a dependable person or not. I would like to think that I am and I think in general I am, but I need to improve. I'm not the person who always arrives at work on-the-dot but I think my co-workers can depend on me to be there pretty much on time each day. I think more often than not I don't flake out on events and obligations but I also tend to not make obligations for myself so I don't give myself the opportunity to flake out. Basically I know that I am a person who will flake out if I set myself up. Or as we use to call it in college (with fondness mind you), "getting Jaked". And although I think my intentions are mostly good, I need to stop living on good intentions and become a person more like my father. 

As Sunny gets older and her involvements in life grow it is important to me that she sees me as a constant stability in her life. I want her to know that she can depend on me to get her where she needs to be on-time. She can't take herself to ice skating lessons or play dates or whatever it is she will choose to do. I was never late for gymnastics but I always felt sorry for those that were. Coaches punish the late kids. Or being late for school day after day. How awful and what a huge disadvantage you put on your kids, all because of your lack of planning. I don't want to sound rigid here. I envy some spontaneity and hey, I'm spontaneous. I've been known to pack up the car and drive to New Orleans on a whim, just for a weekend on Bourbon Street. Hell, I drove 1,256 miles with a week old baby. But within any spontaneity in my life lies a plan and I hope that my planning helps eliminate chaos and stress for those around me. I'm starting to realize more and more in life that my actions have a domino effect on others' stress levels and the last thing I want to be is a creator of stress, especially in Sunny's life. I guess this is sort of a New Year's resolution for 2010—to be a person who does not indirectly create stress upon others.  

Number 1. More Black-Eyed Peas, Please. Twenty-five Lessons from 2009.

"When you look for the bad expecting it, you will find it." — Pollyanna

I hate to even consider saying that this year has sucked when it obviously was one of the best years of my life (thank you Sunny). But for several reasons it was also the worst year of my life. Maybe it was the black-eyed peas I ate. I did eat my peas. I always always always eat my peas. But I was six weeks pregnant last New Year's Day and experiencing full-on morning sickness. I threw up the peas. Maybe that is the reason for this ongoing run of bad luck mixed with exceptionally great luck. At least my luck is in balance. With the good comes the bad and I guess I'm learning to adjust to the ups and downs and trying to make my own big ass pitcher of lemonade.

But I'd be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to a new year. Openly welcoming 2010. I love the hope of a new year. The prospect of greater things around the bend. The idea that if you eat just the right amount of black-eyed peas you can offset all potential bad luck for the year. A new year, a new beginning and the start of new adventures. 

So after writing my twenty-five lessons from 2009 what did I learn and what do I want to bring with me into 2010? I think I'm officially a Pollyanna. I need the Glad Game — the game of finding something to be glad about in almost every situation —  to help get me through the rough spots and I need the Glad Game to appreciate the good stuff. It is all about balance, finding good in even the worst of situations and eating your peas. Always, always, always eat your black-eyed peas. 

 

Happy New Year to you and yours and bring on 2010!
 

Number 2. Making a List. Twenty-five Lessons from 2009.

Here is a list of random thoughts, lessons and/or things I want to blog in 2010. Can you believe it is almost 2010?

• My Dad will always, no matter the time or weather situation, pick me up or take me to the airport.
• Headhunters are evil evil people that obviously enjoy messing with the heads of the unemployed.
• I don’t get or understand the purpose of 3.2 beer. It really is dumb and not having access to imports at the grocery store or Q-Trip or Walgreens is annoying.
• The Northern Lights have nothing on baby giggles and smiles.

 

• One or two nights in Stillwater a year can rejuvenate the soul. 
• Too many nights in Stillwater can make you feel old. 
• A two-hour phone conversation with BFF makes me a happier, smarter and better-adjusted person.
• Spending $300 in counseling makes me feel stupid.
• You can't force family to see when you travel home but boy it sucks when you travel 1,400 miles with an infant and brothers can't load up the kids and drive them seven miles to see you. Just saying. 
• Fast food potluck is freaking awesome fun. Intrigued by the concept? Yeah, I'll share the details later.
• Nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there.
• I would be lost without out my facebook phone, I mean my iPhone. 
• Meconium really isn’t all that it is cracked-up to be.
• A sad baby makes a sad momma.

• Twenty-four inches of snow is a lot of freaking snow.
• Breast feeding is hard and a lot of pressure.
• Line queues make sense. Why don't they queue in Oklahoma? I never pick the right line and I'm glad I don't have the pressure to make that choice in VA lines.
• If it is not on the list it isn’t going to happen. Pregnancy left me with the memory of a goldfish. Maybe by writing these thoughts down I'll remember them for the future...but I’ll probably still manage to forget.

 

Number 9. Same As It Ever Was. Twenty-five Lessons of 2009.

I remember hearing all the time, before we had Sunny, "kids will change your life". I guess I always thought these people were talking about changes in my daily routine. The visible changes. Like I suddenly couldn't go to the grocery store or I wouldn't have access to makeup or maybe the convenient store down the road would stop selling us beer. As if life as we know it is suddenly over and I was expected to wear mom jeans and join a dozen different play groups.

I don't know, but at the risk of sounding naive and like a rookie - life isn't all the different. Just this past Sunday Lance and I were sitting on the couch just hanging out. I was holding and feeding Sunny, making a grocery list and he was checking email on the laptop. Just a typical weekend day at the Hill/Smith house. Minus the feeding, playing, diaper changing and talking in baby voice our lives are pretty much the same as it ever was. We just haven't had to make all that many drastic changes in our lives since September 2. Maybe that will change with time and as she gets older but so far the most notable changes include running the dishwasher more, an extra load or two of laundry a week and the need to pack way more gear when we travel, be it down the street or 1,200 miles down the highway. Sure, we get up earlier these days and sleep less but I was starting to get up at the crack of dawn during pregnancy. We stay home more but we started doing that once Lance was laid off in April.

I don't know, I just thought the arrival of baby number one would be the end of the world as we know it. But it is more like a continuation of the world as we know it - just way way better. She has rocked our world, but with amazement and awe. I would say that our lives are about 10,000 times greater then before baby girl and normal. Very normal and very much the same. I guess that means we didn't lead a very exciting life before baby girl?

Now ask Ari if his world has changed since Sept. 2nd and he might have a different opinion on the subject. 

Number 11. The Christians and the Pagans. Twenty-five Lessons of 2009.

"So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table. Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able. Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold." - Dar Williams, Christians and the Pagans.

I've always loved that song. And although I'm not a Pagan or a Christian I like that both winter holidays - Christmas and Winter Solstice - share a common theme of rebirth and new beginnings. And I'm happy that in 2009 I'm starting to find some balance in religion or in my case, lack of religion with balance. 

This summer we started attending the Mount Vernon Unitarian Church. And we love it. Attending Sunday lecture has become a part of our life that we look forward to, but it isn't our life. We enjoy spending time with a community whose main focus is to promote moral values through their own kindness and service. It is just a good fit for us and it makes us happy. I like that we can attend a church without being a hypocrite. I like that "sermons" can question and challenge the existence of god while still giving you a huge sense of hope and happiness. I like that all religions are respected and I like that all people, no matter sexual orientation or beliefs, are accepted. I like that the children's religious education does not focus on one belief but rather explores Christianity, Judaism, Paganism, Islam, Buddhism and others. To me that is the ultimate teaching of peace, or at least peace as I see it. 

So I'm happy that we jumped way out of our comfort zone and went to the UU with an open mind this summer. MVUC is committed to many social justice programs and our involvement will help us engage in more service activities. And it will challenge our spirituality. Service and spirituality - two things our lives have lacked over the years. This new involvement will be good for us and good for Sunny. Plus I really like that there are few, if any, holidays the UUs don't celebrate.

Happy Winter Solstice!

 

Number 15. The Truth About Baby Registering. Twenty-five Lessons from 2009.

Getting the chance to register for much needed baby items and gear is awesome and we are so grateful for all the gifts we got from our friends and our family - Thank You! With that said, registering for your first baby is hard. At first the event is exciting and fun but after about twenty minutes into the process you start to realize the overwhelming nature of the task ahead. I mean there are just so many choices. So many decisions. So much stuff… What if you pick the wrong bottles and you give your baby colic? Does a baby really need warm wipes? Can you use room temp water for bottles or will cold water hurt the baby? Not to mention the stroller and car seat issues and safety regulations. How do you know which one is truly the safest? Ugh. And then leave it to my mixed up pregnancy emotions to get involved, making me feel bad about the whole process. I mean asking people to buy specific items for you seems so wrong but I knew Lance and I couldn’t afford all the loot on our own. The whole process was an emotional roller coaster. And did I mention I’d rather go to the dentist then shopping?

But I did a learn a few important things during the process and now that Sunny is here I’m basically convinced that most of the baby items listed as must-haves are not all that important. There is a lot of pressure by the stores and parenting magazines and books to register for everything. Here is a list of the top twelve items we have found useful (so far).

1.      Infant Carrier. No way around it, it is the law. We went with the Graco Snugride. It was the most girly of the options but more importantly also had the highest safety ratings.

2.      Arms Reach Co-sleeper bassinet. This was a must-have item for us but that was because we had to pack up and drive to Oklahoma a week after Sunny’s arrival. Had we stayed home for a few months like normal people we would have likely taken it back to Buy Buy Baby and used the extra money for more diapers. But for travel the co-sleeper is the greatest and three months later she is still sleeping in it nightly, right by my side. I love looking over at her beside me and safe in her own little bed.

3.      Breast Pump. Worth it even though they are ridiculously expensive.

4.      All-in-one Stroller. We are spoiled. Very very spoiled by a good friend who gave us the mack-daddy of all strollers – the Bugaboo. We are in love with our stroller and totally see the advantages and versatility provided in an all-in-one stroller. She is about to outgrow the bassinet and move into her big seat but we got a lot of use out of the bassinet these past few months plus she will sleep in it when go back to Oklahoma next week. And we can’t wait to put it in beach mode this summer and take strolls in the sand. 

5.      Blankets. We have some muslin wraps by Aden and Anais that are amazing. These blankets make swaddling easy and they are breathable so I don’t freak out if I see it all up in her face.

6.      Bottles. Lucky for us she likes the cheap Medela kind that come with the pumps. They aren’t fancy but they make her happy. And we are still using the nipples from the hospital. I think I had doll bottles that had more advanced bottle nipples. Our theory was to start with the cheap and work our way up to the advanced ones if needed.

7.      Bouncing/vibrating Chair. We actually have several of these things and she is a big fan of each one. I know she will grow out of them soon but they still buy us a few hands-free minutes.

8.      Backpack. We love our Skip Hop backpack for baby. Lance can carry it without losing his man card plus it is handy and carries a ton.

9.      Carrier and Slings. So nice to have an alternative way to transport baby girl other then the stroller. The carrier and sling are easier to use on the metro and when going to crowded areas. Looking forward to spring and more adventures in the carrier and sling.

10. Rainforest Jumper and Play Mats. They each buy us at least 30 minutes of time as she entertains herself in the rainforest. We call her the queen of the gorillas.

11. Mobile. We have yet to figure out why she is so entertained by the purple bugs that spin in a circle above her head but she loves loves loves her mobile. It makes her laugh out loud.

12. Footie PJ’s. (See blog post Number 22. Put That Baby in Footie Pajamas.)

So that is our list of a dozen must-haves for new moms. We have easily lived without a wipe warmer, diaper genie, bottle warmer, baby washcloths, Boppy pillow (although great during pregnancy), crib bumpers and accessories/decorations and baby books. Not books for baby, we love those, but how-to-deal-with-baby books. We are just winging it thus far and Sunny is happy and sleeping through the night - so we are going with it.  

Number 17. I Can't Stand a Messy House. Twenty-five Lessons from 2009.

Those who knew me in college or, god forbid, lived with me know me as the messiest person ever. How did you all live with me? How did the dirty laundry everywhere, stacks of dirty dishes, salsa smelling wait bags and stacks of old papers and trash not drive you nuts? Okay, I'm sure it did drive you nuts so the real question is how did you see through it and still keep me as your friend? I'm so glad you saw me for the person I was and not for the month old bowls of cereal under the bed. Thank you and I here by officially apologize to all my previous roommates. I'm sorry for the chaos I brought you. But if you can believe it, I'm no longer that force of destruction I was years ago. I actually can't stand a messy house. I know, right? Totally and absolutely crazy. Tup, Em and Mik probably don't believe me, but it is true. 

And for the record, I've been clean for almost ten years. I actually recovered from my Pig Penny days a while back. But after pregnancy nesting and having Sunny I've taken it to a new level. One might even call the new level OCD. (Ha, ha....and I just gave Kara a huge annoyance with that description!)  But it is strange the overwhelming need to keep everything organized, picked-up and clean. Who would have thought that organization, 409, Swifters and laundry folding would become one of my top priorities in 2009 as dust free shelves and clean sinks give me balance. But Sunny doesn't get to choose where she lives and it is only fair if the place she calls home reflects a world of peace, not chaos. 

 

Number 21. Put That Baby in Footie Pajamas. Twenty-five Lessons from 2009.

Closet full of fancy dresses with matching bloomers. Drawers full of onesies, tights, little booties, and lacy pants and day after day baby girl is looking pretty and happy in her footie pajamas. Seriously, I don't know why an infant outfit comes any other way. Baby number two I'm just going to buy a dozen footie pajamas and call it a day. Hell, what I don't understand is why there isn't a greater selection of these things. All I can find at my Target is the Carter's three pack with zippers (which are my favorite) but I'd love to find some that are actually more for day wear. Like a leisure suit for baby girls. Make it out of cute cotton knits, throw a few ruffles on the butt and add a collar if you really want to get fancy. And the greatest thing about footie pajamas, you don't have to worry about the daddy's taking that baby out in the world wearing some sort of hodge-podge outfit that a color blind monkey could put together. Footie pajamas are fool proof, practical, warm and comfy. I say put all babies in footie pajamas, all the time!